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Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attractions from 1980 to 2010

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attractions from 1980 to 2010
#line #percentage #tourists #scotland #four #attractions
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of
visiters
Correct your spelling
visitors
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 who have been
four
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in four
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 different activities between 1980 to 2010 in Scotland. In general, what stands out from the graph is that
castle
Correct article usage
the castle
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 and zoo experienced an upward trend.
While
,
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apply
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festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
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 and
aquarium
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aquariums
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 witnessed a downward trend. The data clearly shows that
zoo
Correct article usage
the zoo
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 was the lowest among
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 attractions in 1980. It constantly changed between 1980-2000.
Then
 it saw a rapid decline throughout the period from 2000-2010.
Finally
, it reached 20%.
Moreover
,
castle
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the castle
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 was nearly 23% in 1980. It increased sharply from 20% to around 43% for 15 years. It dropped suddenly and finished at almost 32
percent
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per cent
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On the other hand
,
festival
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the festival
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 was 30% at the beginning of the process. During the period between 1980-2010, it gradually declined and dropped
at
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to
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 around 18 percent in 2010. Meanwhile, aquarim
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 from 1980 to 1990.
Finally
, it decreased slightly to 10%
at the end
 of the period.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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