Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?
A lot of individuals believe that
companies
ought to exercise
for their workers during the day . In my opinion, having exercise
time
for employees
will lead to many problems not only for the workers but also
for the companies
.
Firstly
, providing employees
with exercise
makes them lose time
because some companies
work
only half a day, so in this
case, it will be difficult for companies
. The best time
for the employees
to exercise
is in the evening. For example
, If a company
that operates only for ten hours give their employees
time
for exercise
, it will take around 1 hour of their work
time
. As a result
, companies
will waste their time
and it certainly can benefit the company
if they use this
time
to work
on other things namely training programmes to enhance their work
efficiency.
Another point to consider is that this
will cause the company
to spend more money. That is
to say, if companies
allow employees
to do sport, they should provide some machines and space , especially for exercise
. For instance
, if a company
has more than 40 employees
, they have to have a basic machine, such
as a treadmill and cycling machine for their staff, and all these should be placed in a special room, namely a fitness room. Thus
, for some companies
, this
certainly can be a burden for them financially.
In conclusion, I believe that having exercise
time
for employees
will cause them to waste their time
and perform badly as well as
causing
the Wrong verb form
cause
company
to have unnecessary spending.Submitted by s_syedy on
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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear standpoint against the provision of exercise time by companies, which is consistent throughout. However, expanding on the advantages of your position or briefly addressing potential counterarguments could enhance your task achievement by showing a broader understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using more linking words to improve the flow of your essay. While your ideas are logically arranged, better transitions between them would enhance readability and coherence.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, you may benefit from incorporating a wider variety of specific examples and data. This would not only support your main points but also demonstrate a deeper analysis of the topic.
Task Achievement
You've effectively used examples to support your viewpoints, clearly demonstrating the potential issues with companies providing exercise time.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and conclusion, which helps in conveying your argument effectively.