Some people think competitive sport is important for a child's education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Few individuals assume that champion in
the
competition in Correct article usage
apply
sports
plays an indispensable role in the studying progression of youngsters as it mitigates the
boredom and enhances Correct article usage
apply
the
cognitive skills.Others oppose Correct article usage
apply
this
notion since it has more drawbacks as it consumes enormous time
.In my point of view,I think it is beter
to engage Correct your spelling
better
offsprings
in games as it widens Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
the
knowledge.
Change the word
their
Firstly
,some people claim that it is vital to allow the
children to play in between their studying Correct article usage
apply
time
as it improves their skills.In addition
,when they allocate their spare time
on
Change preposition
to
sports
, it refreshes their mind and refrain
them from boredom.It results in Change the verb form
refrains
reduction
of stress Add an article
a reduction
the reduction
duringtheir
childhood and assists them to more fascinated towards academics.Correct your spelling
during their
For instance
,the gold medalist in an Indian University was a man who was the best bowler in cricket.Hence
, it is proved that the competitive sport is significant for education
.
On the other hand
,few personells
assert that engaging in Correct your spelling
personals
sports
acts as an impediment for
Change preposition
to
learning
process Correct article usage
the learning
due to
it's
Replace the word
its
time
consumption .when a child is selected to
a game which Change preposition
for
need
more Change the verb form
needs
practise
,he has to work Replace the word
practice
deligently
to become a robust player.Correct your spelling
diligently
consequently
,he has to prioritize his most of the time
to sports
than studying and it gradually deteriorates the education
.For example
,if one person do
more Change the verb form
does
practise
Correct your spelling
practice
for acquiring
Change preposition
to acquire
Correct article usage
a
Correct article usage
the javelline
javelline
throw ,he might not concentrate Correct your spelling
javelin
in
Change preposition
on
education
and do
not perform well in academics.
In conclusion,some people Unnecessary verb
apply
tell
that doing competitive Verb problem
say
sports
during childhood gives
positive effects on Verb problem
has
education
.
However
,some deny that as it deminishes
the Correct your spelling
diminishes
childrens'
concentration in studying.In my opinion,I suggest that Change noun form
children's
the
competitive Correct article usage
apply
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
is
crucial to Correct subject-verb agreement
are
education
of students as Add an article
the education
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
refreshes
Correct subject-verb agreement
refresh
the
knowledge.Change the word
their
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a more diverse range of sentence structures to add complexity and clarity to your points. For example, compound and complex sentences can help to more clearly convey your ideas and arguments.
Task Achievement
Ensure examples are specific and clearly linked to your main arguments to strengthen your essay. For instance, when mentioning the gold medalist, provide more details on how sports directly influenced their academic success.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on proofreading your essay to correct grammatical errors and typos. Paying attention to detail in spelling, punctuation, and word choice can significantly improve the readability and professionalism of your writing.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, make sure your opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay. Reinforce it in the conclusion to leave a strong final impression on readers.
Task Achievement
You did a good job of discussing both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay introduces and concludes the topic, which helps the reader understand the structure and flow of your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example