IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages.

#threat #weapons #world #peace #power #energy #technology
Some countries continue to develop nuclear weapons, and it becomes a serious threat to world peace. At the same time, nuclear technology offers a low-cost and clean source of
energy
. Meanwhile, a lot of
people
 believe that there are more advantages than negatives of using nuclear
energy
. I personally disagree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay will discuss it in detail about it.
To begin
 with, the safety of the country depends on the person who manages it and has a nuclear weapon, usually, it seems that all individuals understand the dangers of using nuclear weapons, but
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are not clear and some
people
 can accept a decision to activate it because they are sure in its necessary.
Furthermore
, if an accident
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a nuclear
energy
 plant happens, it will lead to a natural disaster, and nothing help.
For instance
, in 1980th a nuclear
energy
 plant in Ukraine, there was a failure.
As a result
, it led to a catastrophe,
people
 were evacuated as soon as possible, the soil was contaminated, the greenery was poisoned and because of an explosion of the reactor, there was a radiation leak.
Moreover
,
people
 still can not live there for many years.
In contrast
, there is an undeniable benefit which is low cost and safety for the environment, if it is not destroyed. So, nuclear
energy
 could be the best alternative to other types of
energy
such
 as gas or petroleum. In
concluding
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, there are more
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 nuclear technology in my opinion.
People
 need to consider all facts about different types of
energy
 and approach the choice with full responsibility.
In addition
, scientists continue to improve each technology that we use and there is a chance in future that we will use nuclear
energy
 without any danger.
Submitted by lobacheva.design on

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Task Response
Ensure a clear position throughout the essay, maintaining consistency in your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs more cohesively, making sure each one flows logically to the next with clear connections.
Task Response
Consider expanding your examples with more detailed explanation to firmly support your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range and accuracy.
Task Response
You engaged with the topic comprehensively, covering both sides of the argument before stating your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Presenting a conclusion that ties your argument together shows good essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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