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Band 6.5

Small business are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#business #companies
Business
 has become an essential part of human life and in
this
 modern era, international businesses are growing and taking the place of micro businesses which is unfair to poor companies. There are various cons and pros on
this
 matter which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. To start with the benefits of it, development is a core part of a successful nation. Taking the place of small businesses with high demand
business
 is a better idea for every businessman as well and it will be helpful for employers because they can earn a good salary with it.
For Instance
, micro companies will give them less pay as compared to high-level companies and they can gain double profits from it.
Thus
, multinational enterprises are more pleasant rather than small-scale enterprises.
However
, every coin has two faces, similar,
this
 trend has
also
 drawbacks that prove a curse for them because everyone does not have enough money to spend on their
business
.
Moreover
, employment has to face huge obstacles
due to
 it. To illustrate, the survey was done in 2015 by a student of the university, small businessmen had to close their offices because of growing international
business
.
Also
, they have to face detrimental in that year.
Therefore
,
this
 trend is not beneficial for every person. In conclusion,
although
 there are umpteen cons of it but some pros of
this
 matter which helps grow
business
 on the international level. Since humankind wants to keep their names in competition.
Submitted by harmanpreetkang20 on

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Depth of Discussion
Consider elaborating your points with more nuanced examples and details to further strengthen your argument and provide greater depth to the discussion.
Specific Examples
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Grammar & Punctuation
Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation to improve clarity and readability.
Cohesion
Ensure there's a clear progression of ideas from paragraph to paragraph. Use transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your essay.
Balanced Argument
While your response covers the task requirements, aiming for more balanced discussions on both sides of the argument can enhance the comprehensiveness of your essay.
Structure
Good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs on pros and cons, and a conclusion.
Use of Examples
Effective use of examples to support points, though further specificity could improve your argument.
Balanced Discussion
A strong attempt at discussing both advantages and disadvantages, contributing to a well-rounded essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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