Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages otweigh the disadvantages?

A large proportion of the global population
utilise
Change the verb form
utilises
show examples
social
media
to maintain
contat
Correct your spelling
contact
and stay updated on current affairs.
On the other hand
, social
media
proves to be
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
and addictive. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
the disadvantages outweigh the advantages as there are other more effective ways of communicating and reading the
news
instead
of wasting valuable
time
on social
media
. Social
media
is a great tool for keeping in
touch
with family and friends as it allows users to share their life events through posting a status, sharing a photo and interacting by writing and responding to comments.
Whats
Correct your spelling
What's
show examples
more? Most social
media
platforms now offer the features of personal video messages, phone calls and even facilities to interact as a group. It is
also
possibel
Correct your spelling
possible
to post current
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
of one's life live for friends and followers to watch and comment
.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
Keeping
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
date with current affairs is instant as top
news
stories are immediately made viral by many people sharing and reacting with feeling emojis.
Although
social
media
is reliable for for keeping in
touch
and staying up to date with the
news
, it has proven to be addictive and
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of
time
for some.
For example
, one can get carried away reading the comments or even engaging in unhealthy
arguamemts
Correct your spelling
arguments
about sensitive topics.
Furthermore
, there are other means of
keeing
Correct your spelling
keeping
on top of current
news
such
as apps of
news
broadcasts, some
news
channels even provide breaking
news
updats
Correct your spelling
updates
via
texts
Change the noun form
text
show examples
messages to their viewers. There are
also
various methods of keeping in
touch
including
communcation
Correct your spelling
communication
apps like
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
Whatsapp
and video calling services like
facetime
Capitalize word
Facetime
show examples
, these allow people to keep in
touch
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
feeding individuals with adverts and unwanted
time
-consuming videos.
To conclude
,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
social
media
is an effective tool for keeping in
touch
and
recieveing
Correct your spelling
receiving
the
news
. The disadvantages of being too addictive and taking up
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of one's
time
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
the advantages as there are other tools which provide the same without
teh
Correct your spelling
the
added drawbacks.
Submitted by Mangalakumaran.sangeetha on

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Content enhancement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument on the disadvantages of social media. This will help to make your essay more persuasive and grounded.
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Review the essay for minor spelling and grammatical errors, as these can slightly distract from your overall message. Consider using a tool for grammar checking to polish your essay.
Argument Development
Try to balance your argument by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages in equal measure. This will provide a more comprehensive view on the topic.
Clear stance
You've done a great job outlining your stance clearly right from the introduction, which sets a solid groundwork for your argument.
Logical structure
The structure of your essay is logical and makes it easy for the reader to follow your line of thinking.
Use of cohesive devices
You effectively use linking words to connect your ideas, which enhances the flow of your essay.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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