The health benefits of physical exercise are well-known.Despite this,a lot of people do not exercise regularly.What are the reasons for this?What could be done to encourage them to exercise more often?
Nowadays, taking up physical activities is more common and useful for
people
's health. Therefore
, people
pay more attention to this
rather than before. In spite of this
, being engaged with
sports infrequently is becoming controversial in many countries in the world. There are several factors for Change preposition
in
such
a situation as well
as
relevant solutions are Correct word choice
and
also
available for dealing with it which will be elucidated in the ensuring
paragraphs.
First and foremost, there are myriads of reasons that cause Correct your spelling
ensuing
this
problem. However
, the most significant one is that people
tend to spend more time
on their work for a better life. What is more, despite the fact that most parents have enough time
to pay attention to the physical growth of their children, they both
can not create a good physical condition at home and afford Correct pronoun usage
apply
going
to gym clubs. Change the verb form
to go
This
brings about negative
influence on not only their productivity Correct article usage
a negative
on
work and health but Change preposition
at
also
children
fitness.
Turning to the solutions Change noun form
children's
of
Change preposition
to
this
statement, in spite of having lots of fitness centers
, they are not all at a reasonable price. In order to avoid Change the spelling
centres
this
, companies and offices should make one gymnastics hall for only their employees in order to go in for
during break Change preposition
apply
time
. Apart from
this
, it would be acceptable that the government ought to focus on the fee of fitness clubs by making them affordable for local people
's wellness. These answers to this
dilemma are not complicated but accessible and practical for society.
In conclusion, with the points stated above, I can safely say that although
there have been several problems which depend on time
and money, the government and companies should take efficient actions for their society and workers by creating an appreciable atmosphere for well being to outcome these challenges.Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a structured argument with a clear introduction and conclusion. Yet, the connection between paragraphs could be strengthened by using a wider range of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences.
task achievement
While you've tackled the topic comprehensively, certain areas require more specific examples and a deeper analysis to fully meet the task requirements. Aim to include more detailed examples and explore your ideas further.
task achievement
You've successfully addressed the main parts of the task, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There's a coherent flow of ideas that aids understanding, even if transitions could be smoother.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
