A friend of your is thinking of going om a camping holiday for the first time this summer . he has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday. -Describe some possible disadvantages. -Say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer.

#friend #om #holiday #first #time #summer #advice #-explain #-describe #-say

Dear friend, I am writing to you

this

letter in order to provide you with some useful advice I have learned from my previous experience in camping since I heard from our friend Ali that you are planning to go to a campaign

this

summer. I am pretty sure that you will never forget

this

enjoyable experience, as you will move from your daily routine activities to a new self-independent lifestyle.

Besides

that, you can not imagine the level of happiness you will reach when you wake up early morning

Change preposition

show examples

spectacular natural sceneries and breathe fresh air or drink pure water.

However

, let me remind you of some essential items you should bring like wet wipes, a torch, a battery bank, a GPS device, insecticide, and

last

but not least the portable toilet. The only disadvantage that needs to be taken into account is that you will be exposed to a high level of risk if you don’t take care of yourself. Unfortunately,

due to

my earlier commitment to my family, I will not be able to join you on

this

wonderful journey, I wish you all the best and to return safely to your family as well. Truly yours,

Submitted by maowda1982 on Mon Apr 29 2024

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task response

Consider elaborating more on why your friend would enjoy camping, providing specific examples or personal anecdotes to strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words, pronouns) more effectively to ensure smoother transitions between ideas.

greeting and closing

Your greeting and closing are appropriate and set a friendly tone for the letter.

complete response

You addressed all parts of the task, providing advice, potential disadvantages, and a personal stance regarding joining your friend.

suitable writing tone

The letter maintains an appropriate and friendly tone throughout, suitable for writing to a friend.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

201 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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