More students travel abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it?
Some people believe that studying a higher level of education abroad could bring more benefits rather than drawbacks.
This
essay will describe that the positive aspects outweigh the negative with some detailed examples.
People believe that studying abroad provides a better chance of future occupation because those experience could remarkably increase their possibility of a career path. Firstly
, the students could absolutely be fluent in the second or third language,which probably is English, by being surrounded by native speakers. For example
, All universities teaching international programs require the students to learn the English wording;thus
, they are forced to be able to effectively read and write for academic purposes in the English word. Moreover
, they may have daily conversations with their foreign peers by chatting and talking,which significantly facilitates the potential skill of speaking. Another benefit to this
view is having a great connection of peer community with international friends because it could notably contribute to their career path in the future plan. Furthermore
, they could also
participate in any productive activities to build a great community of relationships such
as a dancing club, yoga class or sports club,with a variety of members participating.
Conversely
, travelling to foreign countries,particularly for educational purposes, requires the amount of sufficient budget in order to completely cover bills, rent, tuition fees and individual expenses. To exemplify this
statement, studying for a master's degree in the business field in Australia demands around 50,000 Australian dollars a year for the course fee,excluding personal expenditure and living costs. Additionally
, another drawback for some who come without any friends might feel lonely and need to adapt their style of living to new surroundings and different cultures. For instance
, Asian people regularly eat rice whereas
Westerners mainly eat slices of bread.
To conclude
, I personally believe that the benefits of studying abroad outnumber the drawbacks regarding global language, new connections and experience with international peers due to
having a new experience and a global community. However
, those require an adequate amount of budget to accomplish.Submitted by phanphetpor on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Vary your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow. Utilizing a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your argument more compelling.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be careful with the punctuation and grammatical errors, such as the correct usage of commas and conjunctions. These small errors do not detract significantly, but refining them can improve your essay's overall clarity.
Task Achievement
Including specific examples further strengthens your arguments. Continue to develop your examples to be as detailed and relevant as possible, which adds depth to your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence, ensure paragraphs are structured logically with clear topic sentences that introduce the paragraph’s main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence where appropriate. This helps to maintain flow and clarity.
Task Achievement
You did a commendable job presenting a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, which directly addresses the essay prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize your main points, making your argument clear from beginning to end.