Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In
temporary
days, with the era of high technological Correct word choice
recent
development
and industrial revolution,.. children
watching TV is being
concerned Unnecessary verb
apply
on
the populations from different parts of the world. The vast majority debated that Change preposition
apply
television
programmes have negative
impact on youngster Add an article
a negative
while
others believe that it is positive for their development
. This
author agrues
that Correct your spelling
argues
agrees
televison
will bring Correct your spelling
television
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
for
Change preposition
on
children
Change noun form
children's
development
comprehensive. This
essay will give both benefit
and Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
drawback
for Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
this
issue.
There are several benefits that come from watching television
. Firstly
, video
programme is an informative Correct article usage
a video
and
learning tool which can help Correct word choice
apply
children
to be more creative and familiar with words. Secondly
, television
also
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
for
study Change preposition
to
stratergies
that can help Correct your spelling
strategies
leaner
Correct your spelling
learners
being
more enjoyable Wrong verb form
be
due to
the
educational cartoons. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, according to
a study that
compared Correct pronoun usage
apply
with
Change preposition
apply
children
under 10 years old watching televisions
and Fix the agreement mistake
television
youngster
who Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
are
not watching Verb problem
have
vide
Correct your spelling
video
pramme
for a long Correct your spelling
games
time
of
period. There is a wide difference Change preposition
apply
that
they Change preposition
in that
are
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
community ability and less imagination which can help them in the future. Change preposition
apply
Thus
, watching video
programmes are
educational for Correct subject-verb agreement
is
children
's development
.
However
, watching television
can have a big impact on cild
psychology. In fact, there are many Correct your spelling
child
programme
that Change to a plural noun
programmes
include
violence, Change the verb form
includes
drugs
,.. which Correct word choice
and drugs
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
unsuitale
for kids and Correct your spelling
unsuitable
suitable
it
can Correct pronoun usage
apply
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
to
their mindset of Change preposition
apply
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
Additionally
, watching video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
in
a long period can lead to some health problems which can change their lifestyle, they will become passive and Change preposition
for
introvert
and less doing exercise. Replace the word
introverted
Moreover
, viewing can waste time
for learning or doing homework and can easily to
achieve low Fix the infinitive
apply
result
. It can be true that watching Fix the agreement mistake
results
television
is wasting reading time
but it can be solve
by the controlling of adults and the Change the verb form
be solved
tim
limited.
Correct your spelling
time
This
author beleives
that it is necessary for kids to Correct your spelling
believes
Add a missing verb
be entertainment
entertainment
and Replace the word
entertained
learning
through the image of Wrong verb form
learn
video
clips that include knowledge. Furthermore
, watching televions
can help them to catch the era with a Correct your spelling
television
televisions
comprhensive
Correct your spelling
comprehensive
development
in both mental and physical health.
In conclusion, viewing tevlevision
can be Correct your spelling
television
determinal
for Correct your spelling
detrimental
youngster
but Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
i
Change the capitalization
I
belive
it can be Correct your spelling
believe
control
under supervision and Wrong verb form
controlled
the
Correct article usage
apply
time
limited.Submitted by yeu cmm on
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grammar spelling
Improve grammar and spelling. Errors such as 'cild psychology', 'vide pramme', and 'stratergies' detract from the readability.
example detail
Provide specific examples and more supporting details for the arguments presented. For instance, elaborate on the study referenced in the second paragraph to give it more credibility.
clarity
Clarify your main argument in the introduction. The phrase 'This author argues that television will bring bad effect for children development comprehensive' is awkwardly phrased.
sentence structure
Improve sentence structure to enhance coherence. Use more connectors and transitions between ideas to make the essay flow better.
introduction
The introduction presents a good understanding of the topic and outlines the two main opposing views clearly.
balance
An effort was made to consider both sides of the argument, showing an attempt to provide a balanced discussion.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the points made and offers a personal opinion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example