IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter ● describe the problem with the equipment ● explain what happened when you phoned the shop ● say what you would like the manager to do.

#piece #equipment #kitchen #work #shop #action #manager
Dear Mr or Mrs assistance, I am writing to you in order to
claim
Verb problem
complain
show examples
 about
vacuum
Correct article usage
the vacuum
show examples
 cleaner that you sold me, which turned out not to work.
To begin
 with, the moment I turned it on it did not even start. I thought that something was wrong with my outlet,
for instance
, energy are not compatible. But when I changed
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 outlet, it still did not work. I phoned a local professional in
hope
Correct article usage
the hope
show examples
 that he would tell me what to do, but it did not help, so I
finally
 decided to call you. I tried to communicate with your other shop assistants but they seemed to be oblivious. I was
said
Verb problem
told
show examples
 that the shop cannot do anything so it is solely my problem. My attempts to explain what was wrong was effortless because your helping
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
 had no clue what to do and more than that, they spoke to me in a rude way. What I want you to do is to make a refund because I have all the cheques that confirm my right of return or replacement.
Additionally
, I would really
apreciate
Correct your spelling
appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could give me a discount card for your inappropriate and rough approach to clients. Thank you for your time and understanding. Sincerely Kseniia.
Submitted by ksrnnn on

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Grammar & Vocabulary
Consider revising for grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and professionalism.
Structure
Review the structure to ensure a smooth flow of ideas from one paragraph to another.
Terminology
Double-check shop assistant phrases for more accurate terminology (e.g., 'staff' instead of 'stuff').
Content
You effectively communicated the main issues including the defective equipment and the unsatisfactory response from the shop.
Organization
Your letter was well-organized with clear paragraphs for each point.
Tone
You made a clear and polite request regarding the desired outcome.
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