You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #•say #•explain #idea #•suggest

Dear Sara, I hope you are doing great! I would like to say thank you that you trust me and asking me to advise you whether to continue your education in college or start working. First of all, I should say congratulations on graduation from high school ,

then

let's start sharing my ideas about your inquiry. To be honest, I believe that starting college immediately after graduation from high school cannot be a good idea and it would be boring as you need to take a break from studying and refresh your energy. in my opinion, it would be great if you find a proper job and gain some practical experiences that could be fruitful in your personal and academic life.

Furthermore

, it can help you to know more about different job positions and makes it easy to select your favourite field in university. As you may know, my father has a distribution company and they are hiring

Change preposition

for

show examples

different positions in the coming month. I know you are good at analyzing, so my recommendation is, to prepare your resume for the price analysis position and send it to me ,

then

I will ask my father to share it with his HR team. I am sure if you can get

this

job it will be a great experience for you and more effective than studying in college now.I am looking forward to hearing back from you. take care and have a good day. Thanks and regards, Marzi

Submitted by ghazale on Wed May 01 2024

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Sentence Structure

Ensure to diversify your sentence structures to enhance readability and interest. Mixing complex and simple sentences more effectively can convey your advice more compellingly.

Grammar & Punctuation

Consider reviewing your letter for minor grammatical inaccuracies and typos to maintain a high level of professionalism and clarity in your advice.

Task Response Depth

It would be beneficial to explore more deeply the reasons against college education for your friend, providing more specific examples or elaborating on why it may not suit their immediate needs.

Structure

The structure of your letter, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point, and a concluding section, is very effective.

Tone

Your tone is suitably friendly and supportive, which is ideal for a letter to a friend seeking advice.

Personalization

You've offered practical and personalized advice by suggesting a specific job opportunity, which demonstrates a thoughtful consideration of your friend's situation.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

248 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

theoretical nature
real-world experience
practical experience
professional network
financial independence
dynamic
on-the-job learning
creative industries
customer service
sectors
suitable

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