IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter: •introduce yourself •explain what experience and special skills you have •explain why you are interested in the job

#advertisement #english #newspaper #job #city #museum #shop #holidays #director #•introduce #•explain #skills
Dear Sir/Madam, I hope
this
 letter finds you well and in good health. I am writing
this
 letter regarding the advertisement for the job working in the City Museum. My name is Sasha and I am a full-time student doing my undergrad at the University of Chicago. Another interesting point, I live ten minutes away from the museum. Previously, I used to work at the National Museum which presents history about the Nordic migration where I worked at the information desk. Here I improved my communication skills and
also
 learned that I have a great memory-power where I could remember all the deals without looking at any notes.
Moreover
, I am confident that I am the best fit for
this
 opening.
Additionally
, I am really interested in learning about City history along meeting new people so I opted for
this
 position.
Also
, I am looking to earn a little for these holidays because I need to pay my college
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 for the next semester. Looking forward to hearing back from you. Yours faithfully, Sasha Kota.
Submitted by praneeth2094 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
It's great to introduce your background and express enthusiasm for the job offering. Expanding on how your specific experiences could benefit the museum specifically would enhance your response further.
coherence and cohesion
Maintaining a consistent flow of ideas from introducing yourself to detailing your experiences, and explaining your interest in the job has been managed well. For even better coherence, try to make connections between your past experiences and how they directly prepare you for this specific role.
task response
The introduction is clear and positions the letter's purpose well.
coherence and cohesion
The polite close of the letter maintains a professional tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dear Director,
  • enthusiastic applicant
  • pursuing a degree in
  • customer service experience
  • volunteer work
  • multilingual
  • cash handling
  • POS systems
  • team player
  • punctual
  • excellent communicator
  • cultural enthusiast
  • part-time position
  • professional references available
  • at your earliest convenience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: