You have recently moved to a different house, and you want to give the news to an English-speaking friend who lives in another country. Write a letter to this English-speaking friend. In your letter, explain why you have moved describe the new house invite your friend to come and visit

#house #news #friend #lives #country #visit

My Dear Sara, Hey Sara! It’s been a long time since we saw each other , I’m just writing

this

epistle to let you know that

last

week I moved to a new place. Let me start by telling you why I decided to move to a new

house

first,

the time between my workplace and my old

house

is 40 minutes ,

additionally

, the live contract of the old

house

is almost over. Moving to the heart of the matter, the new

house

an incredible, and the way of decorating the

house

amused me a lot.

Additionally

, there are some more rooms

such

as a laundry room , driver room , cinema, and gym.

However

, undoubtedly, you should visit me as soon as you can. Not only you

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but if you would you can bring your family with you because there are two rooms for guests. Even more, two bathrooms and a small kitchen. I really hope to get a speedy acceptance from you. Keep in touch! Best Regards, Raheel

Submitted by x.ra5eelah on Thu May 02 2024

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General writing improvement

To enhance your writing, consider varying sentence structure and using more complex grammatical constructions to convey your ideas more effectively.

Grammar and spelling

Ensure to proofread your letter for minor typographical errors and to maintain consistency in tense for a smoother narrative flow.

Personal touch

For an even stronger connection with your reader, consider adding more personal touches or anecdotes related to the reasons for moving or your feelings about the new house.

Task achievement

You effectively communicated the main purpose of your letter, explained your reasons for moving, described the new house, and extended an invitation to your friend, demonstrating a good task response.

Coherence and cohesion

Your letter follows a logical structure, starting with the reason for moving, describing the new house, and ending with an invitation, which enhances its coherence and cohesion.

Tone

The friendly and inviting tone of your letter is suitable for the context of writing to a friend, making your message both welcoming and engaging.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

170 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You have recently moved to a different house, and you want to give the news to an English-speaking friend who lives in another country. Write a letter to this English-speaking friend. In your letter, explain why you have moved describe the new house invite your friend to come and visit

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

some people think that humans can use animals in any way for their own benefits. others, however, believe that people should not use animals in the wrong way. discuss both this views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that animal should be allowed to be eaten and experimented on while other think they have equal right as human being, discuss both views and your opinion.

Although more and more people use public transport, some city streets are still overcrowded with traffic. How can this problem be solved? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people say governments should give priority to health care, while others believe that taxpayers’ money should be spent on other important priorities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.