the following chart shows the adults of different ages of the UK who use the internet everyday.

the following chart shows the adults of different ages of the UK who use the internet everyday.
The bar chart illustrates the fraction of people in five different age groups using the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
from 2003 to 2006.
Overall
,
it is clear that
most
internet
users are individuals between 16-24 and older generations whose
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
are more than 65 barely use the network.
Moreover
, the trend of using the
internet
in four consecutive years seems to be exactly the same.
To begin
with, the young generation (16-24) came in first place throughout the period.
However
, in the first two years, it had the same proportion which was at 80%
then
surged to 100% in 2005,
as well as
dropping to 90% in the
last
year.
On the contrary
, the
internet
was not interesting for old people (65+) in 2003 but
then
, in 2004 it jumped to roughly 15% and fluctuated to 20% in 2006.
Additionally
, The 25-44 adults started at approximately 50% in 2003 and continuously rose by 10% each year and it reached 80% in 2006. The 45-54 citizens
also
had the same trajectory as in the previous group which escalated by 5%, it began at 60% and ended at 80% in 2006.
Finally
, the
last
group which was around 55-64 was at 30% in 2003 and swang to 50% in 2006.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words internet with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital Literacy
  • Internet Penetration
  • Technological Proficiency
  • Online Presence
  • Access to Information
  • Generational Gap
  • Cyberspace
  • Connectivity
  • Social Networking
  • Digital Native
  • Digital Immigrant
  • User Demographics
  • Broadband Access
  • Digital Inclusion
  • Tech-Savvy
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