The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

#two #information #boys #girls’ #participation #rates #activities #survey

The charts illustrate the participation

percantage

Correct your spelling

percentage

for both

boys

and

girls

Change preposition

show examples

various

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of activities, related to

cultural

Replace the word

culture

show examples

and leisure.

Overall

, the two groups show a diverse interest in the games,

while

boys

are more interested in outdoor

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

, but

girls

prefer more indoor

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

. Both groups did spend

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing computer games, reading, and listening to music. They have the same rate of 10% on enjoying music.

In addition

comparitively

Correct your spelling

comparatively

boys

spend

time

on computer games, which are 18% more than that of

girls

whereas

significanly

Correct your spelling

significantly

girls

prefer reading (21%), which is 19% higher

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

that of the

boys

. Dancing and basketball

respectivly

Correct your spelling

respectively

are the most popular activities for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

boys

and

girls

, where the participation rate

reach

Correct subject-verb agreement

reaches

show examples

over 25%.

Boys

show a higher

interenst

Correct your spelling

interest

in playing outdoor

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

, where more than 10% of them did choose to play

stakeboard

Correct your spelling

skateboard

and football.

Instead

, more

girls

spend

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing indoor sports like gymnastics and netball, in which 11% and 15% of them will spend

time

on it

repsectivly

Correct your spelling

respectively

, showing they are more popular among

girls

Submitted by asllchkied on Fri May 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, time with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

180 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

participation rates
survey
comparison
popularity
activities
gender-specific
predominantly
societal factors
psychological factors
development
teamwork
physical health
cognitive skills
educational policies

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
A lot of people have been interested in travelling to some areas such as the Sahara or the Antarctic where the environment is not good to live in. It is said that there are two sides to a coin, and visiting that place has advantages and disadvantages sides. One such benefit is that tourist would be able to experiences to live in this environment and other national habits, by the way, the disadvantage is that, such conditions could be the main reason for the deterioration of their health.
4
band
Please evaluate my writing task based on IELTS band descriptors for writing task 2. During your evaluation, please act as a 20-year-old-experienced IELTS examiner
Congested area has become a major problem in metropolitan area, and some believe that reducing their intensity to work, study, and shopping is the best way. I completely disagree with the given idea which will be discussed in this essay.
6
band
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is no denying the fact that the environment is crucial for us because we live in it. It is a commonly held belief that governments and big companies have to help and progress the environment from climate change. There is also an argument opposing it. In my opinion, consider that people can make a huge difference in protecting the environment.
6.5
band
The older people who need empolyment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?
Nowadays, it has been common to see older people compete with the younger generation to have careers. Several problems relating to society have been caused by this. They should be solved by effective solutions from the government our local authorities.
5.5
band
completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
When it comes to getting a job, a group of individuals has divided into two opinions. Some people think that for doing a job being a university graduate must be necessary, on the contrary, the other groups believe that getting experience and developing soft skills are most important. Ahead of my judgment, both sides would be discussed in the following paragraphs.

The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Please evaluate my writing task based on IELTS band descriptors for writing task 2. During your evaluation, please act as a 20-year-old-experienced IELTS examiner

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The older people who need empolyment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.