IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
It is true that recently, many companies often advertise that their
products
 have brand-new designs or innovative functions. People have different views about the factors related to
this
 phenomenon, and some view
this
 trend as negative. In my opinion,
however
, I believe
this
 is a positive
development
 because of many reasons. For businesses, welcoming a great emphasis on the aspects of 'new' has various advantages. New
products
 generally mean better quality or more advanced technology.
Therefore
, it can motivate more consumers to buy their goods.
Moreover
,
this
 kind of advertisement can definitely enhance the brand's reputation, and more people will be willing to give it a try.
For example
, there is a technology company called 'Acer' in Taiwan, which is famous for its electronic services with functions that are continuously upgraded. You can often see that they are advertising their new
products
 on TV.
Thus
, looking from an
overall
 perspective, I think the main reason for companies to offer new
products
 is because it can generate more profits. Acknowledging that there are some drawbacks, I believe that the emphasis on new
products
 is a good
development
 for many reasons. It will let more companies aim at innovation, which means that they will invest more funds into the research or
development
 sector.
In addition
, more emphasis on new
products
 in advertisements can improve the competitiveness within the markets, accelerating the growth of industries.
As a result
, people can have a better experience when using these new
products
 and our daily life will be much more convenient. In conclusion, it is more likely to generate higher profits when corporations emphasise their
products
 are new in their advertisements, and it is the primary impetus for them to do
this
. I think
this
 phenomenon is a positive
development
 because it can raise the quality of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by arthur752102 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language variety
To enhance your score further, try to vary your sentence structures more and consider using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition.
Content Depth
Ensure a balanced discussion by exploring contrasting viewpoints more deeply, as this will enrich your argument and demonstrate critical thinking.
Structure
Excellent introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument and summarising your key points.
Supporting examples
Good use of specific examples, such as the Acer technology company, to support your argument.
Relevance
Clear and relevant main points that align well with the essay question.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: