the charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unheaalthy if eaten too much

the charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unheaalthy if eaten too much
The
pie
chart below illustrates the medium percentage in ordinary meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may have
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
effect on your
helath
Correct your spelling
health
if you eat too much.
Overall
, there are 3 similar
pie
charts that have different
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of data. The
first,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second,
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third
pie
charts show how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
sodium
Change to a plural noun
sodiums
show examples
, saturated fat, and
sugar
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breakfast
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lunch,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner
, and
snacks
. The
sodium
and the saturated were consumed more during the
dinner
. The
sugar
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
consumed more
while
consuming the
snacks
. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
43% of
sodium
in
dinner
. That
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
shows the highest percentage comparing other
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
thus
snacks
(14%),
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breakfast
(14%), and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lunch (29%). There are same amount of
sodium
in
snacks
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breakfast
. Meanwhile, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
42%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sugar
in
snacks
, 23% in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner
, 19% in lunch, and only 16%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sugar
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breakfast
.
The
Correct article usage
Breakfast
show examples
breakfast
consists
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
lowest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of saturated fat, exactly 16% in the second
pie
chart.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, the highest
percent
that consists
37
Change preposition
of 37
show examples
% of saturated fat in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, percent, sodium, sugar, breakfast, dinner, snacks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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