Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.
Currently,
money
is significant in the majority of people
’s lives. Although
many people
think that it is more essential than others. This
essay will express the comparison between two reasons for this
situation.
On the one hand, money
can be used to buy necessary things in daily life
. This
is due to
the fact that some people
live in cities and depend on a
cost of living. Correct article usage
the
For example
, a high cost of living when people
live in the capital city while
people
in rurals
have a low cost of living. Correct your spelling
rural
As a result
, some people
need to use a lot of money
to take care of themselves and their families.
On the other hand
, money
cannot buy something such
as good health, mental health and relationship
with other Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
people
. This
is because these things, people
have to make by themselves. For instance
, if they want to be healthy, they have to exercise and play sports. Moreover
, some activities have to be paid by
time but Change preposition
for on
no
Change preposition
with no
money
. This
is due to
the fact that many hobbies want to take a long time and people
receive happiness in return. For example
,For example
, some people
travel for 5 days. It may take a long time but they are happy while
they stay in there. Therefore
, money
is not always the most important in most people
's life
.
In conclusion, In my opinion, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
money
is not the most essential in an individual life
because it depends on a lot of reasons and factors in personal
Correct article usage
a personal
life
.Submitted by name79sinlapa on
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coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a clear structure throughout your essay with distinct paragraphs for each main point. Ensuring each paragraph follows logically from its introduction will enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly states your viewpoint and a conclusion that summarizes your argument, reinforcing your position on the topic.
task achievement
To improve task response, ensure your essay directly addresses all aspects of the prompt. Develop your ideas fully and provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a broader range of vocabulary to articulate your ideas more precisely and engagingly.
task achievement
You effectively discussed two contrasting views on the importance of money, providing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant, illustrating your points about the limitations and benefits of money.