The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

#two #information #boys #girls’ #participation #rates #activities #survey

The presented pie charts depict the differences between

boys

' and

girls

' cultural and leisure activities.

Overall

, it can be observed that there is a huge difference between both of these genders when it comes to playing computer games and reading.

Girls

prefer to read books than

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

computer games

whereas

boys

are

opposite

Correct article usage

the opposite

show examples

when it comes to

this

trend.

To begin

with, both have the same taste when it comes to listening to music.

However

, the difference is

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more than 19

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

when it comes to reading as

girls

go with reading 21

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

but for

boys

Add a comma

boys,

show examples

the percentage is only 2

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

. The difference in

percetile

Correct your spelling

percentage

is more than half when comes to playing online games as

boys

prefer it more than

girls

On the other hand

, there are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

different activities that

boys

participate in but

girls

not

Add a missing verb

do not

show examples

and these are skateboarding, playing soccer and basketball.

On the contrary

girls

indulge themselves in dancing, playing netball and doing gymnastics.

Submitted by kiran.deep24 on Sat May 04 2024

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

162 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

participation rates
survey
comparison
popularity
activities
gender-specific
predominantly
societal factors
psychological factors
development
teamwork
physical health
cognitive skills
educational policies

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The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

the tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing . what are the reasons .

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school or at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do, or do you feel children have enough education at school?

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people nowadays don't feel safe either when they are at home or go out .what are the reasons?what can we do to solve this problem.