Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
With transportation technology advancement, more nations tend to put more emphasis on metro systems than
roads
. Whether the government should spend money on railways
or roads
had
become a hot controversy. In my opinion, I partly agree that the government should spend more resources on Wrong verb form
has
railways
. However
, the investment for
Change preposition
in
roads
also
plays an important role in Correct article usage
the nations
nations
development.
First and foremost, developing Change noun form
nations'
nation's
roads
is important for countries economic growth. Roads
are playing
an important character Wrong verb form
play
for
economic Change preposition
in
progressing
. Goods and people have been allowed to move effectively. With better Replace the word
progress
roads condition
, vehicles can run Fix the agreement mistake
road conditions
on
Change preposition
at
faster
pace can increase the rate of transferring resources, which could possibly Correct article usage
a faster
rise
Verb problem
increase
the
business activity. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, put
more money Wrong verb form
putting
on
building Change preposition
into
roads
also
encourages automobile industries. For instance
, Germany's roads
condition is the best in the world. It greatly promotes their car industries, they have excellent vehicle brands Change the noun form
road
that
called Porsche Correct pronoun usage
apply
as well as
BMW and Mercedes-Benz. Therefore
, governemnts
Correct your spelling
governments
spend
money on Wrong verb form
spending
roads
cause beneficial effects to
Change preposition
on
economy
.
Add an article
the economy
However
, developing on railways
might seems
more important than Wrong verb form
seem
roads
. The reason is the capacity of railways
is much larger compared to automobiles. And they are generally consider
Change the verb form
are generally considered
as
more eco-friendly. In developed cities, there are tremendous passengers who take public Change preposition
apply
transports
in their daily life. Railway system Fix the agreement mistake
transport
also
has faster speed
compared to cars because Fix the agreement mistake
speeds
it
can rely on computers which have less bias than Correct pronoun usage
they
human
. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Furthermore
, there is a large number of metro using renewable energy. For instance
, MTR
in Hong Kong carry around one million citizens to travel in the city effectively. The Correct article usage
the MTR
eletricity
supply for MTR is mainly wind and solar energies. Correct your spelling
electricity
Therefore
, governments spend more capital on railways
, which will bring more beneficial effects than roads
.
In conclusion, I believe that governments should spend more capital on railways
development. On the other side, it is important that they should put resources on Fix the agreement mistake
railway
roads
too. Therefore
, I partly agree that governments should spend capital on rail
Correct your spelling
railroads
roads
than roads
.Submitted by oscar77734644 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear position throughout; while you mentioned a balanced view, making a definitive stance clear could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on smoother transitions and linking phrases between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.
Language Accuracy
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and typos that can distract from your overall message.
Task Achievement
You've effectively included specific examples to support your arguments, which greatly strengthens your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay structure is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in understanding.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite