Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, people tend to let their
children
make their own
decisions
on everyday activities. Some people believe that it affects them to become citizens that parents allow their
children
to make choices. On the one hand, allowing offspring to make their own
decisions
has two key advantages. Becoming an independent adult and learning life skills.
Firstly
,
kids
become independent because they are not getting help from any adult. These
children
mostly grow up as mature adults who know their abilities and values. With
this
advantage, they will be successful and talented employees in the work field.
Secondly
, if
children
start experiencing new things
such
as food and clothing. They will know which item suits them and which is not suitable for them at an early age. It is an excellent choice for parents to let their
kids
pick their daily matters.
On the other hand
, allowing
kids
to make their own
decisions
also
has two drawbacks.
Children
will become spoiled and
this
behavior will affect their school and friendship life. Their teachers and friends might get a bad impression about them.
Furthermore
, when they reach their adulthood they might not lose
this
attitude. They will not learn that they can’t get everything they wished for. Their
children
may
also
imitate
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Letting
kids
choose everyday items has huge drawbacks in their future lives. In conclusion, despite its disadvantages, I strongly agree that parents should allow their offspring to make their
personal
Correct word choice
own personal
show examples
decisions
.
Therefore
, they can make a great society of individuals.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance clarity and depth in your essay, consider integrating more varied and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. This addition will enrich your discussion and provide concrete support for your viewpoints.
Coherence and Cohesion
For an even more cohesive text, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases that connect ideas and paragraphs together more smoothly. This will help your essay flow better and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Content
Your essay effectively outlines the advantages and disadvantages of allowing children to make their own decisions, providing a balanced view on the topic.
Structure
You have successfully presented a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion and summarizing your stance on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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