some people feel young people should follow traditions of their societies, others believe that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
One of the highly controversial issues among individuals is whether youngsters should adhere to their
culture
and traditions or make decisions freely. In this
essay, the idea of the first group, which aims to preserve cultural identity, and the second perspective, in terms of modernization
and exchanging culture
, will be discussed.
Given the culture
of any nation is an integral part of civilization, supporters claim that it is important for young people
to follow it. Thus
, they do not allow to erode the local tradition and cultural practices. For instance
, Nowruz, which is a Persian festival that marks the beginning of the new year in countries like Iran, is an integral part of their culture
. As a result
, every day not only is this
day appreciated by young people
, but also
all people
of different ages.
On the other hand
, opponents believe that youngsters should have the freedom to choose, particularly in embracing different cultures
and modernization
. In fact, with modernization
individuals have many options for selection. The availability wide range of communication can help them to opt well behaviour for their life. Additionally
, exposure to different cultures
can promote understanding of culture
among people
from various backgrounds. particularly, if young people
have the right to choose, will gain a better understanding of the culture
of other nations, and also
apply diverse cultures
and different perspectives in their lives.
In conclusion, while
free choice enabled young people
to explore different cultures
and make informed decisions due to
modernization
, however
, I would argue that neglecting societal traditions and culture
can have detrimental effects. It may result in the loss of cultural identity, which holds significant consequences for the nation in the long run.Submitted by hongminh317 on
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Task Achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. While the mention of the Nowruz festival is excellent, adding more examples could strengthen your case for both viewpoints.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on how neglecting traditions can have detrimental effects more concretely in your conclusion, to solidify your argument and own opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, leading the reader smoothly from introduction through to the conclusion. Keep maintaining this logical flow in your writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing. This can also help in articulating ideas more clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Effective introduction of the topic and clear presentation of both views.
Task Achievement
Good use of an example with the Nowruz festival to illustrate the importance of tradition.
Coherence & Cohesion
Logical and clear structure throughout the essay, making your arguments easy to follow.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?