There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the 21st century, advancements
due to
globalization
have affected almost all sectors throughout the world. Accordingly
, many opportunities have been created to bring people, businesses as well as
regions together. Although
there are some criticisms towards these approaches, a vast area of its pros can not be overlooked. This
essay will support the current trends of globalization
.
Firstly
, if we look at the things near us, most of the them are results of concepts of globalization
. For example
, consider the Zoom platform, it was initially
developed in order to communicate business ideas among business people, but after the Covid-19 pandemic situation, almost all the educational institutions have adopted this
platform to continue academic activities. The students who benefited from that shift may be from families who oppose globalization
. Thus
, it is every individual's duty to support it rather than block the way of progress.
Moreover
, as a result
of international influence, the lifestyles of people have been drastically enhanced. For instance
, the pharmaceutical industry has come up with many medicines that can cure so many diseases that were considered to be incurable in the past such
as Tuberculosis due to
the exchange of information through research findings. If we could not afford these drugs, most of the citizens in underdeveloped countries would have died.
In conclusion, it should be noted that it is the duty of each person to help in improving foreign affairs rather than opposing it. By doing so, everybody can get the full advantage out of it.Submitted by wm.asanka.sandaruwan on
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structure
You present a clear and coherent argument supporting the benefits of globalization with relevant examples. Continuing to refine the structure of your paragraphs can enhance clarity and flow even more. Introducing a contrasting viewpoint before rebutting it could add depth to your argument.
language
Make sure to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition and to accurately reflect the complexity of your argument. Words and phrases such as 'advancements', 'enhanced', and 'drastically improved' can be used more variably to enrich your text.
argumentation
Introducing direct rebuttals to common criticisms of globalization could strengthen your argument. Addressing and countering these viewpoints directly shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
examples
You provided specific examples such as the use of Zoom during the COVID-19 pandemic and advancements in the pharmaceutical industry, effectively supporting your points.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your essay and summarizing your viewpoint.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?