Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?
In
this
modern era, people
have shifted their entire lifestyle
due to
various reasons. In previous times, people
were fit and healthier, but these days, most people
are more overweight than before. I believe there are multiple reasons behind this
condition, and it has affected people
in many ways.
To start with, there are several reasons behind the increasing obesity
rates nowadays. One primary reason is that people
try to save cooking time by shifting their focus from healthy food
to fast food
, which is often unhealthy. Additionally
, after the COVID-19 pandemic, more people
are comfortable working remotely, which has reduced overall
physical activity. For example
, people
today are more interested in online shopping, ordering food
online, and playing online games rather than physically going to malls, gyms, or healthy restaurants. Therefore
, the acceptance of a sedentary lifestyle
is the primary reason behind people
gaining extra weight.
Furthermore
, due to
this
lifestyle
, more than 50% of the youth are suffering from obesity
and heart diseases. Many pregnant women experience complications during delivery due to
their obesity
. Children under the age of 15 are also
suffering from mental health issues due to
the fear of being bullied for their weight. For instance
, according to
a survey, more than 40% of students avoid going to school due to
the fear of being bullied for their weight, and more than 30% of adults suffer from the same fear.
In conclusion, in my opinion, suffering from obesity
is an outcome of a sedentary lifestyle
and the inclusion of fast food
in a regular diet. Additionally
, the lack of physical activity has played a major role. However
, the effects are more dangerous, and individuals should strive to adopt a healthier lifestyle
to break this
cycle.Submitted by tirththakkar23 on
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task achievement
While the essay does a commendable job in identifying the primary causes and effects of obesity, providing more specific data or citing studies can further support your points. This adds factual accuracy and strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Refrain from repeating broad ideas. Instead, delve deeper into specific subpoints. For example, discuss how the convenience of fast food chains like McDonald's contributes to the obesity epidemic.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of ideas. Use more varied linking phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a well-structured introduction and conclusion, ensuring a clear and logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
The essay effectively highlights the shift towards a sedentary lifestyle and links it to the rise in obesity rates. This shows a good grasp of the topic.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the impact of COVID-19 on physical activity, add relevance and relatability to the essay.